Sunday, November 28, 2010

Here's The Skinny

I have a question that I hope someone out there can answer for me. Why do people find fashion models and even some actresses attractive? Seriously they are skin and bones. You can see their ribs, they have no muscle, and they have to use a ton of makeup to keep their skin and hair from looking dull. (I've seen the pictures without their makeup on and believe me it's not pretty.)

 I have been seeing a lot of articles on the most attractive models and actresses and I just don't understand. Most people aren't that thin even if they are eating healthy. Most people can only get that thin if they stop eating all together. I know some of you out there are thinking that I'm just jealous, but believe me your wrong. I think attractive is when you eat right, exercise in moderation (not everyday for hours on end), and make sure you are getting enough sleep.

I do realize I'm not doing any of those things right now and you can tell, but seriously do men really want a woman that they can crush with one hand? I know that being obese is not healthy either, but when are we going to stop thinking that being that skinny is attractive because it's not. I know that some people are naturally thin, natural being the key word here, but the average woman is between a size ten and fourteen depending on their frame and height. I do realize if you're a smaller frame it's going to be a smaller size and so forth.
So what is the reason for this rant? Mostly because I am sick to death with all the hype we as a country give these anorexic models, and two I feel sorry for the real woman out there busting her butt trying to obtain the impossible. (It's called airbrushing people. That's not the real person on that magazine.) 

Why can't we all just eat healthy, exercise and after that just love who you are?

Sunday, November 21, 2010


For those of you who don't know my sister has been in the process of getting a divorce for well over a year now. I started this blog to help me vent some of my feelings because for some reason I have been in the middle of her divorce trying to help her through it. I am sure people wonder if I have put myself there because I didn't have anything better to do or maybe I just like the drama.

Let me tell you now that isn't the case. The only drama I enjoy is either in a book or movie and there is always something better to do then get in the middle of someones divorce. They are heartbreaking and ugly.

So you might wonder why I'm in the middle of it and I have had to wonder that too. So I really thought about it. I even prayed about it. (Yes I'm a prayin' kind of girl and I do believe I get answers.) The answer didn't come right away. Actually it came about three months after I first asked myself this question. My answer came through my sister (the one getting the divorce). We were speaking on the phone and she said something that hit me and I knew it was my answer.

She said, "I knew when you were little you were special. That there was something about you that was special just to me.I think it was the fact that in heaven you knew I was going to choose this hard road and you promised me that you would be there to help get me through it."

My sister believes that without me she wouldn't have been able to do this alone. That traveling this road without help was not going to be an option for her if she wanted to get out without losing her mind and her faith and when she told me this I knew that was the answer to my prayer. I did promise to help her.

I am not telling you this so you think what an awesome person I am, but because I want you to look around and see that you never do anything alone if you have faith, friends and family to support you. God puts people in you life to help you through the rough spots. You really can make it through really hard things if you have surrounded yourself with the right people and belief system.

Some of you if not most know the poem, Footprints in the Sand. We all feel alone sometimes and sometimes that sand fells more like a quicksand, but you  never have walk alone. Surround yourself with people you love and who love you. Also remember this Thanksgiving when your "Aunt Linda" is driving you crazy or if you think you just have too much to do to spend time with your family that you never know if you promised in heaven to help one of those people through the sand.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

How Much Rope

I am female. Shocking revelation I know, but because of this I realize that I often come from a females point of view. This is not normally a problem because I think I'm right most of the time and this is my blog so I'll say what I want to, but I am curious about something. In a divorce what kind of rights should a father get?

I have watched several people go through divorces now and I have to wonder. One of the divorces the dad was so drugged out he went to jail and then was so far behind in child support he finally gave up his rights. In this situation I've watched the kids and they seem better off.

In another the father really loved his kids and did all he could for them. He ended up with minimum and although he says he wishes he could have more he feels that dragging them back and forth was not in their best interest. He truly is the best parent in the situation, but feels that fighting over them would just cause the children heartache so he deals with not seeing them as often.

I realize that ever situation is different and so the out come is different. When ever my husband and I have talked about divorce (not for us, but others) the one things that can get us madder than hornets is talking about who should get the kids. He said that would be the only thing he would want and that I could have everything else. I  feel the same way and thus the reason for the anxiety. I guess we should just love each other and never get divorced :)

Now on to Richard. I have watched and seen the children with him. They love him, but they are afraid of him. They want to please him, but at the same time they are angry at him for hurting them and lying to them so often.

One of my nephews has tried so hard to please him and to get him to love him that it has gotten to the point that he was telling his dad awful things about his mom so they would have common ground to talk about. My sister finally had to tell him that if that is the relationship he has to have with his dad in order for his dad to love him then he better consider living with his dad because she wasn't going to put up with it

My nephew is a good kid, but sometimes I would love to smack him. My sister has never ask her kids not to love their dad. She has never not allowed them to talk or be with him. She tried very hard never to say anything negative about their father in front of her kids because she knows that part of who they are is tied up in him and by saying something bad it is also hurting them.

On the other hand Richard blames everything on my sister. Everything is her fault and he tells their children how stupid and horrible their mother is. It's really hard on these kids and their mother. I've watch how they have struggled trying to love and please their father so much that they do hurtful things to their mother to do so.

So what can be done? How do you combat this behavior without saying bad things about their father? How much rope do you give the guy before hanging him with it?