Sunday, January 9, 2011

I Must Be Crazy

"If it doesn't hurt, you didn't do it right." This is the first thing my foster trainer tells me in training and at that moment I think to myself, "I think I might have just signed myself up for the most intense emotional pain I've ever felt in my life. What was I thinking and it hits me again for the hundredth time since deciding to be a foster parent...I'm thinking of that one child I can help feel safe and loved while their parents try to pull themselves together."

I still feel overwhelmed with all the things that have to be done in order to foster, but when I read the case files and stories how can I turn my back on what I know I'm suppose to do.

A Child Like Me?
With saddened eyes and head bent low,
It's damaged goods most see.
Whith my unclear past and broken heart,
Who would want a child like me?
I watch her walk into the room.
From a distance I can see.
But dare I take a closer step?
Who would want a child like me?
And then I see her look my way.
She smiles so tenderly.
But do I even dare to dream,
She would want a child like me?
And then, as if I spoke out loud,
She approaches cautionsly.
I try so hard to once believe,
She will want a child like me.
But dare I once let down my gaurd,
And trust that she will see,
Hiding beneath this old stained shirt,
Is a beautiful child like me?
My smile, they say, lights up a room.
I'll be good as good can be.
Oh, please, dear God, let her want
A special child like me.
I feel her hand reach out for mine,
And within her eyes I see,
A single, tiny, shining tear.
Could she want a child like me?
And when she takes me in her arms,
With a warmth so pure and new,
She says the words I've prayed to hear,
"The child I want is you"
~Lisa J Schlitt

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